Take responsibility for your own actions AND be kind to yourself. Blaming someone else for choices you make doesn’t make the problem go away, it only exacerbates the issue. When you accept responsibility it eases the tension and leaves an open forum for discussion. Blaming only pushes the other party into a corner and creates a defensive stance. Thus, creating a hurricane out of a breeze. Calm the breeze with kindness toward yourself and the other person. Oftentimes, there is a cooling off period that needs to take place. If emotions are heated, I suggest you temporarily walk away from the situation and return to the topic when your emotions have stabilized.
When guilt enters the picture our self esteem plummets and our egos scramble to project the “wrong-doing” onto somebody else. I suggest there is no “wrong” or “right” but rather choices we make to learn valuable lessons in our lives. Guilt, which I have defined as “the silent killer of the soul”, only stifles you on your road to growth and learning. It beats you down and throws you into the darkness where you become blinded by the shame. Allow yourself to stand up into the light and flourish despite your painful choices.
There are no mistakes in life. Your journey is yours to live and learn from. Feel the blessings of the difficulties you tackle, hold your head high and move on to reap the benefits of what you learned today.