I just spoke with a client who was very distraught over a family situation. She states that her husband is extremely selfish, yells at their children constantly, and she continues to try to hold them all together by meeting their every need to keep the peace. Meanwhile, my client’s so depleted that she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown! My first question to her was, “What have you done to fulfill yourself lately?” She has been working on this but old habits die hard, and she has been slipping back into the “savior” mode. I gave Mother Mary permission to go sit down. I do smile as I tell her this, and she knows as well as I do, where her focus needs to be. Dare I say on HERSELF! Is it selfish to focus on ourselves? Women especially have a hard time with this. They are so used to nurturing everybody around them that they forget themselves. What happens when we are depleted? Do we have anything truly of value to give out to anyone else? Are we doing our children, friends and family any good? No, we are not. But most importantly, we are doing ourselves no good at all. In addition, when we feel responsible for everybody around us we do them a disservice. I suggested my client allow those around her to “fall on their faces” in order for them to learn their own lessons. If we jump in and save those scrapes before they cut we get in the way of the learning and healing to be experienced. Those experiences are what create strength in each individual and teaches them the ability to deal with the next difficulty with grace. It is very hard to sit back and watch, especially with our own children, but in the long run all will be in a much better place.
Another important piece to this is remembering that we do not have to stand alone when we self nurture. There is support, love and energy beyond just us. Call it God, spirit, the universe, our angels, whatever feeds your soul. Give in to it and ask for guidance. Meditation, prayer, sitting in the quiet will always answer your call. It may not be in your time, that’s okay. Be patient and it will come to you. The main lesson here is to remember that you are a child of God and spirit wishes for your happiness. Desire your own happiness. You deserve to feel joy and have your needs met. Only you can truly request this and ask for help. You are not alone, ever.
Remember to ask yourself everyday, what have I done for me today? Fill yourself with all the treasures that are out there waiting for you. The more you fill yourself, the more those around you will become filled too. The energy around you will be full of light and happiness. Soak it up. Enjoy those rays of sunshine and love every moment!