Self Fulfillment First

I just spoke with a client who was very distraught over a family situation.  She states that her husband is extremely selfish, yells at their children constantly, and she continues to try to hold them all together by meeting their every need to keep the peace.  Meanwhile, my client’s so depleted that she’s on the verge of a nervous breakdown!  My first question to her was, “What have you done to fulfill yourself lately?”  She has been working on this but old habits die hard, and she has been slipping back into the “savior” mode.  I gave Mother Mary permission to go sit down.  I do smile as I tell her this, and she knows as well as I do, where her focus needs to be.  Dare I say on HERSELF!  Is it selfish to focus on ourselves?  Women especially have a hard time with this.  They are so used to nurturing everybody around them that they forget themselves.  What happens when we are depleted?  Do we have anything truly of value to give out to anyone else?  Are we doing our children, friends and family any good?  No, we are not.  But most importantly,  we are doing ourselves no good at all.  In addition, when we feel responsible for everybody around us we do them a disservice.  I suggested my client allow those around her to “fall on their faces” in order for them to learn their own lessons.  If we jump in and save those scrapes before they cut we get in the way of the learning and healing to be experienced.  Those experiences are what create strength in each individual and teaches them the ability to deal with the next difficulty with grace.  It is very hard to sit back and watch, especially with our own children, but in the long run all will be in a much better place.

Another important piece to this is remembering that we do not have to stand alone when we self nurture.  There is support, love and energy beyond just us.  Call it God, spirit, the universe, our angels, whatever feeds your soul.  Give in to it and ask for guidance.  Meditation, prayer, sitting in the quiet will always answer your call.  It may not be in your time, that’s okay.  Be patient and it will come to you.  The main lesson here is to remember that you are a child of God and spirit wishes for your happiness.  Desire your own happiness.  You deserve to feel joy and have your needs met.  Only you can truly request this and ask for help.  You are not alone, ever.

Remember to ask yourself everyday, what have I done for me today?  Fill yourself with all the treasures that are out there waiting for you.  The more you fill yourself, the more those around you  will become filled too.  The energy around you will be full of light and happiness.  Soak it up.  Enjoy those rays of sunshine and love every moment!

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5 thoughts on “Self Fulfillment First

  1. Cindy,

    You are just a Beautiful Healer! Your clients are Blessed to have you!!!

    I love this because it truly reminds ‘us nurturers’ why we incarnated this time around.
    To learn to nurture ourselves!
    That is the lesson, not to rescue everyone because your heart aches for those who need you, but rather let them fall down and learn their own soul’s experience!
    It is very hard to watch, I have been there and still go there occasionally with those I am closest to.
    But then the lightbulb goes off and I remember to back off and let those souls learn the hard way or their own way.
    I never want to supress one’s learning as hard as it may be to watch it all unfold.
    I have learned to pray for those I want to help and let God do his magic!
    And then I am replenished and all is well!

    • And Maria, I am blessed to call you friend! So beautifully written and expressed. It isn’t easy for those of us with open hearts to “watch it all unfold” but it is the heart connected to spirit that reminds us to do so. Trust and all will be revealed, just as it should be.

  2. How very true! I have learned to enlighten people who are going through hard times to actually say Thank You for their experience, as everything we do experience shapes and molds us a little more each time. So, when I say to my children, just let it run in you and through you, and try to figure out the lesson, or the message God is trying to tell you, sometimes it is enough to allow them to step back and be their own observer, instead of the victim. Not to say that people don’t want to believe that circumstances can be cruel, or happy, for no apparent reason, but when you give them permission to accept the experience, instead of fight it, in so doing create a more difficult one, then it plays out sometimes with better results or just faster.

    I believe that thanking God for all my life’s experiences, up to this very moment, is the right thing to do. I am happy as a result of this expression of gratitude, and I know that whatever lies ahead will unfold with purpose and meaning; if not for me and about me, then perhaps for someone else’s benefit. OMGoodness, I am SO happy that I finally have surrendered completely and allow happiness to take the place of depletion. Thank you, Cindy, once again for the constant reminder!

    So pampering myself includes allowing life to unfold and say Thank You for everything I have endured. I am grateful and living a free life now and look forward to whatever comes my way!

    • I love this Maria, “just try to let it run in you and through you, and try to figure out the lesson, or the message God is trying to tell you.” I too remind my girls of this:) Always thanking God for all of life’s experiences…always learning. Thank you, dear one…

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