Midlife Softies

Ok guys, I promised you your own midlife post after I wrote Men-O-Pause!  Here is your day to shine, and truly, there is no pun intended in the title.  Although, it did make me laugh as I wrote it.:)  I’ve always found it interesting that as women reach midlife they seem to gather a sudden inner strength.  At the same time, men seem to become kinder and gentler.  Yes, softer.  Early on in life boys are raised to believe they must be the gatherers and create an environment where their families are protected and cared for.  This includes bringing in “dough” for family survival.  So much focus appears to be on their job, career and notoriety.  As midlife approaches I believe men and women both take a look at their lives and ask, “what’s it all about?” or “is this it?”  With men, there begins a shift of sorts, to appreciate and enjoy life and the people in their life more.  Rather than the big race to be the “big cheese” I have witnessed a slowing down to take it all in.  Maybe it’s what life does to you.  Experience humbles one’s soul.  You can’t live life without falls, and with each fall a lesson is learned.  Hopefully, for the better.

Well, what?  Did you think I was going to talk about fast cars, hot chicks and wild parties?  THAT is part of the lesson that allows one to grow and eventually find the soft side.  Men in that stage haven’t quite reached the gold mine of spirit, but they are living those experiences to reach the soft-ness.  Some never come out of that stage as that may be their destiny.  For the most part, however, most men reach this sensitivity, the “feminine” piece of their core.  It is a pleasant discovery as they feel more peaceful and grounded.  The funny dichotomy is that as women become emotionally stronger men become more mellow.  The yin yang never quite leaves us.  Always the dance.  Always learning from each other.

So, men, get out there and wallow in your soft side!  It is a quality that those around you feel and appreciate.  You have arrived to the calmer side of life.  Take it all in and Enjoy!


8 thoughts on “Midlife Softies

  1. There is nothing more wonderful than when a man is connected to his sensitive side and expresses that out into the world!
    All women rejoice when this occurs.
    It touches our hearts in ways that men will never know!

  2. Sensitivity and sincerity in guys is what we as women love to see and feel. And maybe handing over the remote control once in a while…LOL

  3. Well … gotta say, at first I thought ” Who’s she callin’ soft ?” I’m no doughboy. Then I thought the “soft” comment might be a cheap shot below the belt, in a lil’ blue pill kinda way. But I figured I’d mull this post over for a while. Let it soak in instead of flying off the handle ( I guess that fits right in with the theme, more patience and understanding at this ripe old age).

    So, I was working along, thinking of a reply, and listening to the radio when a song by the Byrds came on. ” I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now” the lyric went and I thought, ” That’s it ! “. I used to be “older” and more uptight. Things had to be just right, intense, driven and full speed ahead. Always thinking about bigger and better, as things were ” supposed to be”. But now, at nearly half a century old,” I’m younger than that now”. I take my time, listen, try to understand, enjoy being nice to people, do things just to please me. I try to get my daily checklist done but if I don’t, heck, there’s always tomorrow. The world won’t come to an end.

    This is a big, broad subject, and there are all sorts of tangents, but I agree with Cynthia. I think guys are much more fun to be with as we age. We actually seem more like fun loving kids again. At least I do, and it’s a bummer that’s it’s mid way because it keeps getting better and better.

    • And you are a perfect example of entering the soft side, Paul! Bringing in the light-hearted child within. Feeling lighter, allowing love more and feeling more confident with WHO you are. I just heart Bob Dylan’s “Forever Young” and it speaks to the fun innocence of the child. Once you climb the mountain and ask, “what’s it all about?”, your child will simply respond with “THIS”! Enjoy every minute midlife man! Peace Paul:)

  4. Cindy,
    “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan is my all time Favorite song!
    When my daughters were young, I would blast the song in the car or at home.
    I told my daughters when they were younger (maybe around 10 or so) that the emotion and the message is that song was how I want them to feel about their lives forever!
    To this day, they remember it and sing loudly to it when we are all together in one place and listening to it.
    The message in that song is the Best!

  5. I just love how there are so many references to songs in your writing Cindy!…and also in the responses. And I have to say that since I joined a music circle (group of folks that get together once a month to play and sing) I continually hear from the women present how they love the gentle quality a man expresses when he sings. I heartily recommend putting together a music circle in your area if you are a songwriter or singer…or if you just want to get together and feel the magic!
    Love you Cin!

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