Archive | March 2010

Vulnerability

“We’re never so vulnerable than when we trust someone – but paradoxically, if we cannot trust neither can we find love or joy.”  ~ Walter Anderson

To be vulnerable or not to be vulnerable?  That is a question I am often asked, and my answer is never black and white.  There is a time to be vulnerable and a time to protect your emotions and your spirit.  When you are in the company of someone you trust, that is the time to test your inner freedom and put yourself out there.  Having these experiences allows us to grow in many ways.  The more you test the limits with yourself and step out of your own box, the more you will learn and grow from those experiences.  It is always nice to have a trusting friend to confide in, who supports you unconditionally.  Remember, however, we are all human and even your very best friend can let you down at times.  More than likely, this union bounces back if it has a firm foundation of friendship.

A friend of mine often tells me, “I’m never trusting another guy again, they all hurt you eventually!”  There are certain people and experiences that hurt you in some way, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up on trusting again.  Be cautious, yes.  Live in fear, no.  Trust your inner instincts.  You know when you meet someone, or develop a relationship with them, if you need to have your guard up.  Trust yourself and ALL of the signs that come to you.  If you get a funny feeling in your stomach when someone makes you a promise, pay attention.  If you pull away when someone puts their arm around you, pay attention.  If you look into someone’s eyes and the connection is not there, pay attention.  Listen to your own soul, intently.

To be vulnerable or not to be….you be the judge.  Listen and pay attention to you.  Always remember, however, it is not wasted time or energy if you misjudged.  Pick up your pieces and learn from it.  You will be much wiser the next time around.  Never lose the lesson.  Take the learning with you. As my friend Raven reminds me…pay attention to the signs.  Always.

Prayer Circle for Bobby

For all of you reading this, I am asking something of you today.  I have a friend named Bobby who has been diagnosed with cancer.  He was a dear friend back in high school days, haven’t seen him in many years but the friendship connection still remains.  I know the next time I talk to Bobby it will be like picking up the conversation from yesterday.  That’s how close we all were.  Our class of 1979 had many small groups but we all intermingled.  It didn’t matter…rocks, jocks, Dead Heads, intellects, poets.  We all learned something from each other back then.  It has carried to this day.  Maybe it was the times, maybe the energies of the people, whatever the reason I feel blessed to have had every one of you in my life.

Many of us have been emailing each other, sending prayers and loving thoughts to Bobby.  Cards, calls, food made with love and care has also been sent.  Trips to give more love and hugs have been planned.  So much love has been traveling to Bobby and I am asking that we continue to send love and healing thoughts Bobby’s way.  And yes, I use the word LOVE a lot for a reason!

All of my friends and family who are reading this….we all know the power of thought and energy that vibrates from our soul.  I am asking you to send love and healing rainbows to Bobby.  I’m sure he will feel it and receive it with a grateful heart.  He’s been feeling so much love from so many of us already, let’s keep the circle going.  For those of you willing, thank you for taking time to connect our hearts to his.  WE LOVE YOU, BOBBY!  xoxoxoxoxo

*If any of you have any great Bobby stories (and I know there are many!) please feel free to comment below.  The more we share and remember the more love grows….Peace…

Midlife Softies

Ok guys, I promised you your own midlife post after I wrote Men-O-Pause!  Here is your day to shine, and truly, there is no pun intended in the title.  Although, it did make me laugh as I wrote it.:)  I’ve always found it interesting that as women reach midlife they seem to gather a sudden inner strength.  At the same time, men seem to become kinder and gentler.  Yes, softer.  Early on in life boys are raised to believe they must be the gatherers and create an environment where their families are protected and cared for.  This includes bringing in “dough” for family survival.  So much focus appears to be on their job, career and notoriety.  As midlife approaches I believe men and women both take a look at their lives and ask, “what’s it all about?” or “is this it?”  With men, there begins a shift of sorts, to appreciate and enjoy life and the people in their life more.  Rather than the big race to be the “big cheese” I have witnessed a slowing down to take it all in.  Maybe it’s what life does to you.  Experience humbles one’s soul.  You can’t live life without falls, and with each fall a lesson is learned.  Hopefully, for the better.

Well, what?  Did you think I was going to talk about fast cars, hot chicks and wild parties?  THAT is part of the lesson that allows one to grow and eventually find the soft side.  Men in that stage haven’t quite reached the gold mine of spirit, but they are living those experiences to reach the soft-ness.  Some never come out of that stage as that may be their destiny.  For the most part, however, most men reach this sensitivity, the “feminine” piece of their core.  It is a pleasant discovery as they feel more peaceful and grounded.  The funny dichotomy is that as women become emotionally stronger men become more mellow.  The yin yang never quite leaves us.  Always the dance.  Always learning from each other.

So, men, get out there and wallow in your soft side!  It is a quality that those around you feel and appreciate.  You have arrived to the calmer side of life.  Take it all in and Enjoy!

Take Care, But Don’t Care

If there is ever a time when you feel like you are giving too much and not getting anything in return, chances are you are!  First of all, you are placing conditions on the giving which is always a losing battle.  Give unconditionally with no attachment to the outcome.  When we genuinely care about somebody, we want the best for them and we allow them the freedom to pick and choose how they experience their own learning.  When we “care” too much and attach to the outcome we attempt to control that person and their experience.  Let go!  I realize this will be very difficult for some of you, it’s okay, be patient with yourself.  Practice the letting go.  When you want someone to choose your answer or follow your lead simply drop the lead line and walk the other way.  Wish them well and see what happens.  You will very likely not experience the power struggles you have set up for yourself in the past.  You may even witness the other person come closer to you because you have given them the freedom to choose for themselves.

The other piece of taking care, but not caring, is nurturing YOURSELF!  As you place less energy on someone elses life you will open yourself up to focus on your own life, as well as the lessons you need to experience.  If we are always focused on others we tend to lose our own soul in the process.  Your personal growth is first and foremost.  As you care for yourself you become healthier and so do your relationships.  People will naturally be drawn to you and will enjoy your energy as you enjoy your own energy.

Take care, but don’t care.  Take care of yourself, be loving towards others and allow them to experience the ebb and flow of life.  When a loved one falls, care and give love. At the same time, allow them the space to gain their own strength and stand up on their own two feet.  Two healthy people equal boundless  energy!

March 9, 1961

The day I came into this world.  My mother’s water broke early when she saw one of my brothers shoot off a pop gun with a pencil in it, as my other brother came around the corner and got hit in the face.  Accidents do happen but it was too much for a mom who was carrying a baby who was ready to emerge!  My brother, who was two years old, ends up in the hospital two doors down from my  mom.  She was giving birth while his injury was being nursed.  A couple of days later, my dad is driving my mom and I home and low and behold, my other brother who was seven at the time, is charging down Lewiston Road (busy traffic) in a rain storm with no coat, heading to his friend’s house!  The poor sitter, she never had a chance.  When a Weintraub has a will there is ALWAYS a way!  So, yes, my dad shuffled my brother into the car and home we went.  Finally, we were all safe in the comfort of our cozy home.  Or were we?

Growing up in a family with five older brothers and two younger sisters, you can guess there was never a dull moment.  For those of you who knew my family, I know you would attest to that, and I’m sure you have some stories of your own.  I sit here and laugh as I remember our “pet” hawk Zeus, rock bands in the “shack out back”,  Crazy Ray,  riding bareback in the back yard, calls in the middle of the night with the “clank” in the background, my mom unknowingly growing my brothers “plants” (he told her they were marigolds), and then a picture of my sweet four year old sister sitting in front of the “marigolds” with the peace sign.  All the cats, dogs, horses, goat, ducks….all the animals dropped off at our house because they knew the “mother in the country” would take them in.  The list goes on….

I love my family and I feel so very blessed to have been a part of every wild, crazy moment!  The memories continue as we all head to Seattle this summer for my brother’s wedding.  The two musicians, Norm and Tim, strum their guitars throughout the days and we sing along.  No matter what, in my family, we all have each others backs.   We’ve had our ups and downs but a major value we learned from our parents is that we always stick together…like glue.  It may get stretched sometimes but we always come back to home base.  Safe in the comfort of home.

Silence and I

How many of you truly take the time to sit in silence?  I have a little exercise for you (which may feel like a big exercise).  Find a comfortable chair or cushion, breathe deep, inhaling down into your belly and out, and sit in the quiet for as long as you are able.  No TV, music, computers, cell phones, blackberries, books….just you.  Allow your mind to wander to whatever thoughts it holds.  You will be amazed what comes to you if you allow it, with no distractions.  If your thoughts create emotional discomfort, breathe in again and ask Spirit, your angels, God to guide you.  Your intuition will become richer with this practice and will guide you in directions your ego centered mind could never imagine or create.  My experience has been that when we follow a spirit centered direction, verses ego centered, a much  more peaceful existence surrounds you.

If, at first, you are uncomfortable sitting with yourself, no worries.  You are not alone in this frustration.  Many of my clients have a difficult time with this exercise at first.  When you think of the fast pace, instant gratification society we live in it’s no wonder.  Start with five minutes and gradually work your way up.  Repetition will allow you to become more comfortable sitting with your own company.  The more you enjoy sitting with yourself the more you will attract like-spirited people and those that sing from the inside out!

Silence is a beautiful thing.  Make a practice of embracing it, feel the benefits of inner peace and connection to all universal energy.  You will be pleasantly amazed by what comes to you….

Time to Make the Green Smoothie….

I have had many people asking me about this green smoothie I’m mixing and drinking daily.  For those of you interested in adding loads of health into your diet in one smooth drink, this smoothie is for you!  My chiropractor started a “30 day green challenge” with this drink and swears that you will feel healthier, tone up and have more energy.  Yes, weight loss comes too but I’d rather have people concentrate on how they FEEL rather than how they look.  Remember, beauty resonates from the inside out!  If you are feeling healthy and radiant, it doesn’t matter what your weight is, you will be glowing!  With your new found energy, and the knowledge that you are taking better care of yourself,  you may find that you are moving  your body more.   As we exercise our endorphins are released, our minds feel clarity and we feel happier in our lives.  So, are you ready?  No powders, no pills, no gimmicks.  The ingredients are directly from God’s earth to your mixer.

In your mixer combine organic DARK leafy greens (kale, spinach, swiss chard, parsley, turnip greens, romaine lettuce, etc. , use a variety of different greens on different days for balance).  Add blueberries, pineapple, bananas, apples, oranges, mangoes, avocados and any other fruits you like.  Fill mixer with filtered water just above the line of the ingredients and blend!  Be sure you blend long enough, or at a high enough speed, that the drink is smooth…unless you like to taste chunks of pineapple;).  My last smoothie, I added a few raw almonds and loved the added flavor.  At first, be sure to just add a small handful of greens and more fruit for a more desired taste.  Over time, add more greens as your taste buds adapt to the smoothie.  I’ve been drinking it for about a week now and I am already craving it!

Happy drinking and here’s to GREEN HEALTH on this St. Paddy’s month!

*For those of you interested, my chiropractor has more green smoothie/nutritional information on his website.  Refer to onehealthyvice.com under Nutritional and Fitness Health.

Don’t Give Up

Don’t give up

‘Cause you have friends

Don’t give up

You’re not the only one

Don’t give up

No reason to be ashamed

Don’t give up

You still have us

Don’t give up now

We’re proud of who you are

Don’t give up

You know it’s never been easy

Don’t give up

‘Cause I believe there’s a place

There’s a place where we belong”

~Music and lyrics by Peter Gabriel

I’ve always loved this song.  My favorite Peter Gabriel.  It is a reminder that no matter what struggles you encounter in your life, there is still hope, still love that surrounds you.  You just have to make the effort to open your eyes and SEE.  Whether you struggle with mental illness, addiction, depression or life situations that bring you down, keep your FAITH.  Reach out and call your closest friend, pastor, sponsor, therapist, sibling or parent.  Who ever it is that you know you can TRUST to be there for support.  Accept help when it is offered, even if it is forcing that first step.  It may be the first step to saving the rest of your life.

When my clients are in this state I’ve heard it described as, “the black hole I just can’t climb out of.”  No matter how hard they try they are frozen in a warped, painful time.  If you have someone going through this in your life, be patient.  Encourage that first step but know that only the person suffering can make that first step.  This of course negates those that are severely suicidal and require admission to the hospital.  In that case, a crisis team is required and you can call your local crisis hotline for assistance.  In most cases, however, the time will come where they’ve reached their own bottom and they accept help.  Prayer is very important during this time, asking for guidance from God, your angels and all universal energy.

Sending many blessings and rainbows to all that think about giving up and their loved ones that feel pain watching their pain.  My heart is with you.  May you find your way…..

*For those of you interested in listening to the complete version of  “Don’t Give Up” , click this link, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uiCRZLr9oRw Notice how they hold each other through the whole song.  You are being held.  Our souls heal one another.  Sending love and blessings, always.

Thank You

Don’t forget to say “thank you” today.  Whether it be the clerk at the grocery store,  your coworker who rubs you the wrong way sometimes, your dearest friend, your mom, your teenager who has had attitude with you for the tenth time today, your pastor, your employee, your ex spouse….the list goes on.  Look them in the eye, smile and simply say,” thank you”.   You will be amazed at how it lightens any tension that may be between you and how it enhances the bond that already exists.  When we are kind toward others, and appreciative of them, there is an inner warmth that begins to expand throughout your body and soul.

Has someone extended a kindness toward you lately?  Reciprocate with a thank you note, email or call.  Is it someone’s birthday today?  Take the time to go to the store, pick out a birthday card for them and send it.  Have you been thinking about a loved one?  Pick up the phone and call them.  We all get so busy in this fast paced life but it’s the time when we STOP and thank those around us that it becomes special and light filled.

When we live life with gratitude we receive fields of beautiful flowers.  Open your arms and enjoy the love that surrounds you!