The Gift of Girlfriends

Tune in to Help, Hope & Healing, WWLZ820am Talk Radio, Saturday, April 30th, 12-1pm EST.  My guests are Louise Cady Fernandes & Marci Lubore Calantonio, two beautiful soul sisters of mine.  The three of us will be discussing friendships, and how it affects your health and happiness on a daily basis.  Join the conversation and call us during the show at 607-732-4820 or 1-866-732-4820.  We would love to hear from you!

Have a beautiful day everyone, and remember to hug a friend today! has been a friend of mine since sixth grade.  We grew up swimming together and sharing many ups and downs in this life.  We’ve had countless amazing experiences together;  the thrill of swimming competitions, the sadness of loss, the joy of girlfriend trips, the challenges of struggles in our lives, and the contentment of knowing, in the end, a friend is a friend for life.  Louise is my soul sister through and through.

Louise is a felted wool designer and has many beautiful creations at

She also has a wonderful blog,, addressing aging in our culture and embracing the beautiful, natural process, one wrinkle at a time.

Marci is a beautiful spirit roaming this earth.  I met Marci about a year ago on a spiritual site.  There was a picture of her with her horse and I immediately knew our connection.  Spirit and horses.  My intuition didn’t fail me as we have discovered we are soul sisters riding similar waves on this earth plane.  We continue to learn from each other as we travel our very interesting journeys.

Marci has an interior design business and is currently working on creating her website, Go To Your Room! Designs, where inner beauty creates interior bliss…simply developed in 3 crucial steps, leaving the client with a feeling of ease and contentment, surrounded by beauty.

Original Spirit

“Soon the child’s clear eye is clouded over by ideas and opinions, preconceptions and abstractions. Simple free being becomes encrusted with the burdensome armor of the ego. Not until years later does an instinct come that a vital sense of mystery has been withdrawn. The sun glints through the pines, and the heart is pierced in a moment of beauty and strange pain, like a memory of paradise. After that day, we become seekers.” ♥♥♥    ~Peter Matthiessen

When we honor, and remember, our Original Spirit the child within us reunites with the light of the universe!  Like a baby on her back, arms and legs swaying to the warmth of the golden sun, we recall our calming connection to Source.

The ego will pack on layers of fear, illusions of difficulties, and a handful of bravado. It is up to us to peel back the ego’s armor and allow our souls to dance their tune of origination. Only then will we align just as it was intended.  Free flowing, no force, just being and falling beautifully into place along your path.

Enjoy your road, wherever you may be, and nurture nature’s soul with faith, trust, love and light…and watch…

Healing Hour

Tune in with me tomorrow, Saturday, Nov. 6th, 12-1pm EST, on Help Hope & Healing, WWLZ820am! The format is OPEN! Call in with your questions pertaining to your overall health and learn to heal through mind, body, spiritual and emotional wellness. This is your hour with a therapist who can help. Call during the show……607-732-4820 or 1-866-732-4820.  Nationwide calls are welcome!

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WWLZ is a radio station located in Elmira, NY, in the the United States. The station broadcasts on 820am.
Next week, my guest will be Neal Desch.  We will be addressing the effects of domestic violence and the importance of breaking the silence.

Good Grief

“People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. ”  ~ Elisabeth Kubler Ross

How perfect.  I’m writing this on a rainy day.  A day where the sun is hiding but will show her smiling face again, after she has had her rest, after she has allowed herself to regenerate.  Much like times in our own lives when we need to feel feelings of sadness, grief, or just plain exhaustion from life.  Your body, spirit and mind (conscious and unconscious) will give you signals when you need to go into the quiet and experience all that you are feeling.  If we don’t pay attention to these signals it will come back to bite us harder down the road.  Deal with it NOW and your path will be paved for a brighter future.

I had a recent meeting with a client whose son passed tragically just weeks ago.  None of us can really know her pain.  Excruciating doesn’t even begin to cut it, in my opinion.  We were discussing the stages of grief, as created by Elisabeth Kubler Ross…denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance.  My client asked where she should be in her grieving.  The only “right” in grieving is that you allow yourself to experience it.  Pushing aside and pretending it didn’t happen won’t help you or loved ones in your life.  This includes many types of losses in your life;  a job, a relationship, moving from your home, traumatic experiences that have attempted to steal a piece of your being, the list continues.  You must jump into the abyss of darkness to emerge with a lighter heart.  Running away from what you must feel only accumulates a dust cloud that will keep you blinded from yourself.  As I told my client, everyone grieves differently, most important is that you grieve.  One may be in the stage of anger longer than depression.  Some people go out of order in the stages and mix it up, while others stay right on target.  Some people grieve for months, some for years.  Your grieving process is your own, the main thing is that you allow it!  I do recommend that as you grieve, and your wounds are open, you seek the help of a professional counselor to guide and support you.  If you choose not to go that route, keep those you trust with your feelings close.  Those that will listen and JUST BE there for you.  One who will hold your hand through your tears.  And remember, if the tears don’t come, that’s okay too.  They will eventually IF you allow the hurts to emerge.  Surround yourself with those you feel safe.  Healing will come.

Keep your light from within.  Allow the rain to clear the dust, allow love to hold you as you work through your pains, the sun will shine again.


One of my clients brought this poem to our session a few months ago.  As I read it,  so much rang true in the scheme of real life and real people.  When I work with couples, I have them practice these skills.  One talks, the other listens, then I ask them to repeat what the other said.  Often, so much is misinterpreted or missed.  Listening is a skill unto itself.  It is its own tunnel of communication between two people, and when one truly tunes in to the other breakthroughs and healing take place.  It’s miraculous to watch paths unfold as one feels supported and HEARD by the other.  There are many bumps in the road but the direction clears as one works through their challenges in life.  There is a saying, “Don’t just stand there, do something!”  Well,  there’s also a reverse to that saying, “Don’t just do something, stand there!”  Just BE with someone you care about.  Allow them to feel your presence, not your preaching.  They will come to terms with their life lessons.  Give them love, allow them to fall, and reach out your hand when they ask for a lift to their feet.


When I ask you to listen to me

and you start giving advice

you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way,

you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me

and you feel you have to do something to solve my problem,

you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

Listen!  All I asked was that you listen,

not talk or do – just hear me.

Advice is cheap: 10 cents will get you both Dear Abbey and

Billy Graham in the same newspaper.

And I can do for myself, I’m not helpless.

Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself,

you contribute to my fear and weakness.

But, when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel,

no matter how irrational, then I can quit trying to convince

you and can get about the business of understanding what’s

behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I

don’t need advice.

Irrational feelings make sense when we understand what’s

behind them.

Perhaps that’s why prayer works, sometimes, for some people

because God is mute, and He doesn’t give advice or

try to fix things.  “They” just listen and let you

work it out for yourself.

So, please listen and just hear me.  And, if you want to talk,

wait a minute for your turn, and I’ll listen to you.   ~Author Unknown

You’ve Gotta Get Real to Heal

Denial. Don’t Even K(n)ow I Am Lying.  Great acronym, isn’t it?    When we repress the hurts that have happened in our lives they continue to live inside of us.  Whether you are conscious of it or not, these painful experiences will manifest their way into your life, causing more harm and roadblocks to your recovery.  In order to open the pathway to healing you must face these demons.  As difficult as it may appear to you, you will discover that confronting these fears only shed light on what you need to move on.  Running from your past keeps you stuck as the pattern continues over and over again.

When you are ready, reach inside and find the courage to make peace with that burning dragon.  Make peace with your pain and the pain you have inflicted upon others.  Yes, not dealing with your emotional challenges not only hurts you but also loved ones in your life.  Uncovering all that is buried can be difficult but in the long run it is a road worth traveling.  When you discard the dead weight you make room for a beautiful garden to flourish.    Only then will you be kinder to yourself and those around you.

You will know when you are truly ready to make these changes.  Some people reach  “bottom” before they break the earth.  Some are at death’s door.  Some never make it.  For those of you reading this who need to make changes, you know who you are.  Denial or not, deep inside, you know.  May you find the strength to conquer the darkness that lies within.  There is a light inside of you that is yearning to shine upon you and brighten your path.  Find assistance, do the work that needs to be done,  and life will hold a whole new candle for you.

Healing the Child Within

” In these if the body will accept it, there is the meeting of self–or karmic conditions. Can it be healed? Yes, but the attitude of the body, the faith in the Divine, must not merely be assumed or proclaimed–it must be practiced in the daily life with others.”  ~ Edgar Cayce

Recognition of unhealthy habits opens the valve, but it is action that fosters the flow of change.  This is why we all need to practice patience as we initiate change in our lives.  When you consider how much time you’ve put into developing unhealthy habits, know that it will take time and perseverance to replace the unhealthy with the healthy.  As spiritual beings living this human existence, expect that you will fall off track at times.  Forgive yourself, wipe yourself off, and get back on track.  In time, as you persist, the healthy will begin to outweigh the unhealthy.  As you experience the feeling of positive choices you will begin to feel lighter, happier and more joyful inside.  You will begin to like YOU!  As we learn to treat ourselves with love and respect, we will naturally treat others in the same regard.  Just remember, true change takes time.  A firm foundation keeps you grounded, a quick fix keeps you stumbling.

An important piece to change is forgiveness.  Forgiveness of self and others.  Oftentimes, we tend to blame others for our choices.  No one makes those choices but you, and until you truly see this you will not move on.  Maybe your parents didn’t give you what you needed, but they gave you what they were able to give.  They became parents still carrying their own baggage, and if it was packed with abuse, neglect, and personal hurts it very likely got dumped on you.  Do you want to continue this chain, or do you want to effect change?  Until you are able to truly let go and forgive others it will be very difficult to forgive yourself.  An open heart manifests a smiling soul.

Lastly, but certainly not least, the key to all change…faith in God, Spirit, Goddess, Source, the Divine, you choose.  You must believe in a power greater than yourself.  The ego is a cocky entity and will knock you upside down if you invest in its false promises.  When you reach only for outer fulfillment, you will ALWAYS come up empty.  You must reach inward to your own soul and connect with Source.  Pray, meditate, ask for guidance.  Go for a walk and take in the beauty of nature.  Breathe in the scent of the honeysuckle on your path.  Recognize the messages that come to you and follow them.  Have faith that you are being guided and KNOW that you are.  Gather the support of friends that carry their own truth and caring.  Confide in those you trust as you work through your own challenges, as we must speak our own truth to heal.  Never forget to give to others as they give to you, for it is in giving that we absolutely receive.

Are you ready?  Let’s get started….one day at a time.

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

I’ve always loved this quote;  full of meaning, love, and Spirit.  I am grateful for every soul that has touched my life.  Those who have come and gone, those who continue to touch my life, and those I have yet to meet.  Just as you have enhanced my existence, my wish is that I have done the same for you.  My purpose in love is to heal, and be healed.  May those I have touched feel the warmth of my soul, just as I have felt yours.  Peace.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

Author Unknown

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