Goddess of the Dawn

My glory days with Early Aurora, circa 1971

I WOULD BE REMISS if I didn’t include the special bond I had with one very special girl, my horse, Early Aurora.  In Roman mythology, the meaning of Aurora is “goddess of the dawn,” and oh what a goddess she was!  A bright light shining into the dim of the morning. She was my guiding light, my maternal protector, my soul mate.  She safely carried me through trails, over hurdles, and around arenas from the time I was 10 years young to the ripe old age of 13.  Soon after, her time came to retire on our farm, soaking up the leisure life of pastures and blues skies, until she passed through the veil, shortly after retirement.

Barb and Early Aurora shining their Light.

Aurora has been shining her bright light on me, yet again, as of late.  Forty-three years after she came to me, another shining light tapped on my soul. Aurora’s previous rider/soul connector found me on Facebook and asked, “Are you by chance the Cindy Weintraub who rode Early Aurora?”  I replied, “Yes, she was very special to me.  Who did you ride with?” When she told me she was Aurora’s previous owner, my body quivered in chills.  She had kept a Christmas card I sent her those four decades ago, when Aurora came to me.  A photo of Aurora and me, and my name, enclosed.  Immediately, I felt bonded with this person who I knew loved Aurora as much as I did.  Our connection has gone beyond my wildest dreams.  Barb has become such a sweet soul sister to me, and, of course, we have more in common than I ever would have imagined.  The bond we have, it all makes sense to me now.  At 61 years young, she runs, swims, moves through nature walks, eats very healthy, and has more energy than a 15-year-old.  Our spiritual beliefs are so in sync it leaves no doubt that Aurora’s spirit not only arranged our recent connection, but the passing of Aurora’s light from Barb to me many dawns ago.  Barb is now a bright light in my life, with Angel Aurora in the middle.

The grace of meeting Barb was not only enlightening but cathartic in my own healing.  As I was in the shower one morning, where most of my profound intuitive thoughts come to me, I realized the real reason I quit riding while I was so young.  My excuse was that I wanted a social life with kids my age (and part of that was true), but the deeper meaning expressed itself through my stream of tears, washed away by the shower cascade.  You see, Aurora retired young because she had cancer.  I realized that morning, surrounded by the ease of water, that I blocked the pain of losing Aurora so deeply that I quit doing something I loved.  At such a young age, I didn’t know the value of grieving, and moved on, hiding the hurts festering inside.  For those of you who can relate, you know the bond between a girl and her horse.  It’s stronger than many friendships throughout your lifetime.  I am so very grateful for Barb entering my life, for she not only gave me the gift of a beautiful friendship, she unknowingly pushed me to feel the pain and grieve my long lost love.  Not only Aurora, but the joys of riding itself.  I know Aurora sent a spark through both of our hearts, creating a bond forever connected to her spirit.

When painful times come upon you, remember, “This too shall pass.”  Spirit has given us the blessing of amnesia when it comes to pain.  Allow yourself to feel and express, especially when you think you can’t feel anymore.  The nights will eventually give way to the glory of the dawn.

Shifting Sands

Amazing how life can shift in just three short weeks.  From expectant loss, to tragic loss, to new birth.  Below are three short paragraphs describing the gamut of emotions I experienced during the month of July, 2013.  Just like that, life can change and bring you excruciating sadness turning to joy and light.  The sands settled on my heart and opened a whole new world for my eyes to see.  Never forgetting the light that remains, and simultaneously, opening my heart to new light.

Our dear, sweet Ollie flew into the heavens recently. We all circled around him and gave
him our last round of love ~ including Jazzy who snuggled in with us. Those of you who knew Ollie, know what a big gentle soul he was. He gave us twelve years of big love from pony rides ( when Rachel was a baby) to big bear hugs (to warm us) to majestic protector (literally coming toe to toe with black bear in our backyard). We will forever miss you, Ollie Bear, always in our hearts.

It is said, when two souls are deeply connected, and one exits this earth, the other is sure to follow. Our sweet soul, Jazzy, followed her love companion, Ollie, soon after we lost our big gentle bear. We were expecting it with Ollie, as he was ill for some time, but Jazz, it came out of the blue. Just two short weeks after losing Ollie, Jazz let us know it was time to join him. I should have known when she nuzzled him nose to nose as we circled around him to give our last round of love.  They came to us as pups twelve short years ago, and now their souls will live together forever. We miss you, my angel girl, always full of love and loyalty. Always with kindness in your heart. Always my soul connector. Fly high with Ollie and shine your angel wings around us. You are both forever in our hearts.

Well, I thought it was too soon for a little one to enter our lives after losing Jazz & Ollie, but my daughter, Rachel, was persistent and I caved. So happy that I did because little Jude has brought back that spark that diminished when Jazz & Ollie left. I feel them with us more than ever ~ in every hug, every smile, and especially when I see Luke & Jude romping together. The love continues to expand.

I suppose it’s no surprise that I’ve had so many animals come and go in my life. I grew up on a farm and my husband, Mike, is a veterinarian. We were very fortunate to be able to say goodbye to Ollie in the comfort of our home.  Our circle of love consisted of me, Mike, and our three girls, Kelley, Becca, and Rachel…and then Jazzy snuggled in.  They know, don’t they? Our animals feel more than we think they’re aware of.  Spiritually, I believe they’re much more in tune than the human race…that is, until we strip away those layers of conditional life.  I have been blessed with a plethora of animal souls streaming through my life.  There is no doubt, when I move into the spirit world, it will provide peace, love, warmth, and yes, a boatload of four-legged loves.