“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” ~Mae West
As I was chatting with a friend the other day, she blurts out, “If I could just find the right guy, everything would be fine!” “Oh, really?”, I replied. We went on to discuss relationships, the stages, the expectations, and yes, fairy-tales. I finally said to her, “The fairy-tale relationship is with yourself! All other relationships fall into place after that.” As children, we watched this, the good, the bad, and the ugly. In the end, the good always wins and the princess and prince charming ride off on the white horse to live happily ever after. What they don’t show us is the “ever after”. The ups and downs, the excitement that turns mundane, the day-to-day living that becomes a schedule. But then, what kind of movie would that be? Most of us are looking for some kind of fantasy in our lives. Fairy-tales are an escape that are healthy for the imagination, but if we think life will really play out that way disappointment will present itself more often than not. As the saying goes, “expectations lead to resentments.”
So how do we live life in reality and still enjoy it to the fullest? Imagination is a wonderful thing, if we can just leave out the expectations and focus on what is healthiest for ourselves first. Find your own center in the quiet and allow Spirit to guide you. What have YOU always wanted to do in your life? What brings you joy? The more you can sit with yourself , and enjoy your own company, the sooner you will be content in any relationship. Loving yourself first is the precursor to a peaceful, contented life.
When I look at Mae West’s quote, I think, right on! It’s not about being who you are expected to be, it’s about living the life you know is right for you. Mae was always known for coming out with these side quotes, with certain connotations, and she never apologized for who she was. A woman unto herself. She’d be the first to admit, she was no Snow White. Not afraid to live her shadow side and experience her own journey.
The fairy-tale relationship IS with yourself. Find your passion, your joy, your peace, and be mindful of what that is. Never forget YOU and all other relationships will become icing on your fairy-tale cake.
Cynthia Brennen, LMSW 
Woo wee! I think your post should be given to everyone before they venture into a relationship. Great one Cynthia. Marriage for the most part is a roller coaster. Let me say that again- Life is a roller coaster… and when we start griping about what isn’t good or what isn’t meeting our expectations it’s time to look at ourselves. Whenever I get bored in my marriage it’s time to nourish ME. Nourishing ourselves is a very contagious thing. It’s like planting grass seed all around us 🙂
Ohhh, I love that Lou, “It’s like planting grass seed all around us.” So true, we flourish when we nourish! I’m so grateful I’ve experienced all that I have in this almost half a century life, and I’m finally getting that another person cannot, and should not, meet all of your needs or be the ONE that makes you happy. It only sets us up for mental failure. We can always count on ourselves if we learn to love who we are and our connection to the universe. We are never alone as long as we remember this….
I always knew you were a genius but COME ON! I loved this one…and I love happy ending movies…why can’t we just watch a really really long movie all the time? Just kidding….I think I am going to take myself out on a fairytale date. I’ll let you know how it goes. 🙂
I love this Cindy as it speaks Only Truth!
Relationships are work and none of us escape trials within them.
They are not fantasies even though we would like them to be as shown in books and in Hollywood movies.
Those Hollywood movie type relationships are empty and are driven by ego and desire.
Not Love!
The only way to have meaningful relationships is to love who we are on every level.
When we love ourselves fully, no one can truly hurt us with their negative words, actions ect towards us.
Because the truth of who we are lies deep within us. That is all that truly matters.
xoxoxoxo
Oh Suzy Q….can’t wait to hear about your fairytale date with YOURSELF! 😉 Once you’re settled with that, then you can invite the rest of us:) Big hug, girlfriend..xo
Maria, you are so right on! “When we love ourselves fully, no one can truly hurt us with their negative words…” When we are true to ourselves and honor who we are in relation to Spirit, we are never alone, therefore the feeling of “loneliness” doesn’t exist. You are whole, just as you are. Thank you for your wonderful words of wisdom, girlfriend…xo