“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” ~Mae West
As I was chatting with a friend the other day, she blurts out, “If I could just find the right guy, everything would be fine!” “Oh, really?”, I replied. We went on to discuss relationships, the stages, the expectations, and yes, fairy-tales. I finally said to her, “The fairy-tale relationship is with yourself! All other relationships fall into place after that.” As children, we watched this, the good, the bad, and the ugly. In the end, the good always wins and the princess and prince charming ride off on the white horse to live happily ever after. What they don’t show us is the “ever after”. The ups and downs, the excitement that turns mundane, the day-to-day living that becomes a schedule. But then, what kind of movie would that be? Most of us are looking for some kind of fantasy in our lives. Fairy-tales are an escape that are healthy for the imagination, but if we think life will really play out that way disappointment will present itself more often than not. As the saying goes, “expectations lead to resentments.”
So how do we live life in reality and still enjoy it to the fullest? Imagination is a wonderful thing, if we can just leave out the expectations and focus on what is healthiest for ourselves first. Find your own center in the quiet and allow Spirit to guide you. What have YOU always wanted to do in your life? What brings you joy? The more you can sit with yourself , and enjoy your own company, the sooner you will be content in any relationship. Loving yourself first is the precursor to a peaceful, contented life.
When I look at Mae West’s quote, I think, right on! It’s not about being who you are expected to be, it’s about living the life you know is right for you. Mae was always known for coming out with these side quotes, with certain connotations, and she never apologized for who she was. A woman unto herself. She’d be the first to admit, she was no Snow White. Not afraid to live her shadow side and experience her own journey.
The fairy-tale relationship IS with yourself. Find your passion, your joy, your peace, and be mindful of what that is. Never forget YOU and all other relationships will become icing on your fairy-tale cake.